Ahhh... Peace and Quiet.

It has been a rough couple of days around here. This whole Mr. Mom crap is not all that it is made out to be. I am so grateful for Maria and the wonderful mother that she is, I wish it were her here with the boy all day long to take care of him and to love him. I keep telling her, and myself, that it wont be long and the tables will turn, I will be working my 40 and she will be home. Don't get me wrong I am happy to have this time with Davis but I know she could be doing a better job.

Davis is starting to teeth, we believe. He is not sleeping his 8-10 hours during the night like he used to. For the last week and a half he would would wake up in the middle of the night and whine - not cry just whine! I would stick his pacifier back in his mouth (although one time I tried forcing it into his eye on accident) and he would go back to sleep for about a half hour and the fun would start over again.

Yesterday I accidentally gave him a double dose of Tylenol (the baby stuff at least) and the afternoon he was much more pleasant and that night Maria gave him more and he slept the whole night accept for one little episode of whining.

Today Maria's mom has taken him shopping and out of the house for a while. This could not have come at a better time. I have three mid-terms, four one page papers, two quizzes, and some discussion questions to answer.

People that make me laugh part 2

Michael Bolton

I have been jealous of his long flowing locks over the years and even have to admit that I stole Josh's Michael Bolton tour t-shirt a few years back. The phrase on the back of the shirt epitomizes the wonderfulness that is Michael Bolton, "Time, Love, & Tenderness". I would wear the shirt in the safeness of my house and an occasional Halloween. I know Mike B. "aka Cusan" has always been jealous of the t-shirt and Michael Bolton's beautiful mane. I have included a few of pictures of the Bolton below. ENJOY my friends!

Why am I irritated? How do I overcome this?

One very simple trick I have learned from my psychologist is to sit down and write what ever is bothering me. For example it could be that I am irritated at work because I have a lot I need to accomplish and there are unnecessary meetings that are taking me away from work. Without censoring or thinking I write down what is bothering me. When I am finished I take out my scissors and cut up the paper and throw it away. Visually this is helpful, but more importantly mentally I am throwing away the worry. If the though comes into my mind I remind myself that I threw it away. Why worry about something that I cannot control? This is where a lot of my stress occurs. I hold on to these annoyances and let them build up. There comes a point when I break because I am carrying too many. Once I have cut the paper up, I remember that these are beyond me and why take on the extra worry I cannot control. I am going to try and post different tools that I am learning like the one above. I can't express how much this particular one has helped me to deal with everyday trials. Try it... you'll like it!

Basement Tour

We are so close to having our basement completely finished. There are just a few little things (like mounting the toilet and painting) that still need to be done. Yesterday Quentin and I managed to get the couches down there (that was a sight to see - just ask Kirsten and Josh). Take a look at the video and let us know what you think.

That thumb came very close to my mouth...

Today I made myself two hoagies that Dr. Huckstable would have been envious of. I placed my sandwiches on the table grabbed some chips and started to fill my cup of water when Maria called. I leaned against the counter and talked to her for a while during which time Davis began to scream bloody murder.

With Maria still on the phone I picked him up and got whiff of what was making him so upset. I took him into his room and put him on the changing table and began to remove his diaper. When I realized that I was going to need two hands to clean up this mess I let Maria go and finished up. I washed my hands and returned to my very patient sandwiches.

I was just finishing the second sandwich when I looked down at the sandwich and noticed something on my thumb nail (on the hand holding the sandwich!). A closer examination revealed that I had not washed my hands well enough and my nail had been painted in Davis' poop!

A horrible end to what had promised to be an enjoyable lunch.

Postpartum Depression

I have thought about posting about this for some time now, but was initially worried at how I would be perceived by those who know me and do not know me. At this point I really don’t care and if you do judge me, that is your deal, not mine. I am on a down hill slope to recovery and I want share my story and give hope to those that are now encountering or will encounter post-partum depression.

I have dealt with depression off and on my whole life but nothing has prepared me to in dealing with what I have felt since having Davis. There have been times I felt like I had a black cloud over my head and I could do nothing right. I remember one day in particular that I went out to my truck to take a break because I was irritated with everyone and everything at work and then spilled my breast milk in my truck. I just screamed and thought, “What am I doing! What is wrong with me?” The pressures of work, family, and everything else seemed to be too much to bear. Thoughts of suicide and hurting Davis would come into my mind. I was sick with myself and I felt out of control, guilty, and horrible. At that point I knew I needed to get help as this was not me and I did not want my thoughts to go any further.

When I first told Jake about what I was feeling he was completely understanding and tried to make my life easier by helping watch Davis and doing small things without me asking. For example there was one late night I had been crying for hours. Jake awoke and calmly and sweetly consoled and told me that it would be better and that it was just the hormones. He held me in his arms until I fell asleep. I don’t think I could have handled all of this without his unfailing sympathy and love.

Since that very low night I decided I need to talk with my OBGYN and she put me on a low dose of anti-depression to help regulate all the hormones. I also decided I would start seeing a psychologist. It is sad that there is such a stereo-type for those that go and see psychologist because it has been an amazing help. She has helped me build skills that have allowed me to free myself from mindless worrying and fretting. All that worrying was putting proverbial rocks into my already heavy backpack of responsibilities.

Although I am feeling much better I know that I still have a ways to go before I feel free from this mindlessness. I want to thank my wonderful family for all their help. I feel grateful that I have parents that I can truly share anything with. I have wonderful in-laws that have offered me babysitting, pedicures, and massages (Kelly you’re an amazing masseuse). I hope if there are others out there are dealing with this that they get help and realize that you’re not alone. As for me... I will continue my quest for happiness.

No Sugar Added for One Year!

As of February 25, 2009 I completed one year with no sugar added. It all started when I went to my Cardiologist who said I needed to get off sugar while I was pregnant. He did say I could have honey, but to lay off the sweets. This means that I didn't eat a donut, Twinkie, or ice cream for a whole year. I also didn't drink any of my beloved Diet Coke. I was able to eat sugar substitutes which did help. I don't think I have ever eaten so much sugar-free chocolate pudding in my life! I also got to cash into the challenge that my Dad gave to our family for whoever is able to abstain from sugar for a whole year would get $500 bucks.

Jake only has 3 more months left doing the no sugar too! Even though it has been difficult, it has made the difference having Jake do it with me. Jake would always tell me that he had no problem doing it because he knows that a piece of cake is not worth the $500 he would be giving up if he ate it. I told you he is a true business man at heart.

On the morning of the 25th Jake had a beautiful chocolate donut waiting for me. I immediately felt sick after eating it, but it was awesome! My co-worker, Steve, made me a plate of my favorite pumpkin bars and I felt sick after eating those too. I think I should probably just stay off the sugar for good because I feel so much better without it. It is so hard to live without chocolate and caffeine!

#1 Husband

Jake and I have both started classes this Monday. I just have to say that I have the most amazing husband in the world. I come home from work and the house is clean, Davis is happy, and dinner is on the table. He is able to do this while getting his 4 classes done. I feel so lucky to have such an caring and thoughtfull husband.

We went up to St. Johns over the weekend and Jake managed to pack his stuff, my stuff, and all of Davis' stuff for our trip. It was a great trip seeing both my family and Jake's family. The kicker is when we came home I found 30 foam hearts on the bed each one containing something that Jake loves about me. I don't know what I did to deserve Jake but feel so blessed to have him in my life.

I Love you Jake!